Former English leader Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet face the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after learning he has the disease.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and being reluctant to completely absorb that at the present time," he commented.
"This doesn't mean I don't understand where it's going. We understand that. But there is certainly a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, states instead he feels "calm" as he concentrates on his present health, his family and getting ready for when the disease progresses.
"Possibly that's surprise or maybe I process things differently, and when I have the information, it's easier," he continued.
Early Signs
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the problem, a series of scans showed nerve cells in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You're presented with this medical finding of MND and we're rightly extremely moved about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't feel ill. I don't experience unwell
"My symptoms are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I'm still capable of accomplishing anything and everything. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is attainable."
Condition Advancement
MND can progress quickly.
Based on the charity MND Association, the disease kills a 33% of people within a year and more than half within two years of detection, as eating and respiration become more difficult.
Treatment can only retard worsening.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," stated an affected Moody.
"It's about the sorrow around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Household Impact
Speaking from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he mentioned telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was rather devastating," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and began removing the tears off our faces, which was quite amusing."
Moody explained the focus was staying in the moment.
"We have no solution and that is why you have to be very militantly directed on just accepting and enjoying everything now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been very fortunate that the sole decision I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as possible. We don't get those years back."
Athlete Link
Elite sportspeople are disproportionately affected by MND, with research indicating the prevalence of the disease is up to sixfold greater than in the wider community.
It is considered that by limiting the air obtainable and creating injury to motor neurone cells, consistent, strenuous exercise can trigger the illness in those already predisposed.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his fearless, unwavering approach to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a workout altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a tackle pad and started engaging in tackles.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the set piece in the critical moment of play, establishing a base for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding drop kick.
Backing Community
Moody has earlier told Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a handful of other former team-mates about his diagnosis, but the rest will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to depend on their backing but, at the minute, just having that sort of affection and acknowledgment that people are available is what's important," he commented.
"This game is such a great family.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it ended now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your love your career, it's one of the most significant blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a period with the squads that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will desire to support in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
